Poem-Perpetually late

On the water

In my head you walk

Around my fallen body

You place chalk

Your everything

That I have sought

Within your aura

I am caught

Nothing left on your plate

That I can consume

For you have already ate

Another meal missed

I am perpetually late

Begging for your crumbs

I am asking for a break

Oh come on

For god’s sake

For an ounce of attentiveness

I quiver and quake

I will do whatever is asked

Please tell me it’s not too late

 

Thank you Promising Poets' Poetry Cafe. BlackSwanPoetry

 

 

Advertisements

52 responses to “Poem-Perpetually late

  1. Pingback: The Celebrate Poet of Summer in 2011 Award Nominations | Promising Poets' Poetry Cafe

  2. good poem, though “good” in a sad way as it paints the pains of love unrequited! should one continue to love even in a relationship such as the one the poem portrays? food for thought – incidentally
    resonates with one of my own poems – could share this for posting on this blog!

  3. Again you dive in deep. nice. One question. what is ‘ora’? Due you mean ‘aura’? I was confused it broke my flow in reading.
    thanks for your sharings. clearly, you a no casual person.

  4. Blackswan – why would you change ora to aura? Does not make sense. All the time I thought you were walking between her ora – which is plural for os which means an opening – that would make perfect sense in your poems’ context – that was which I found so poetical and sensual at the same time …

  5. Just a little pick. 4th line from the end do you mean ounce rather than ‘once’ or ‘a once’, as ‘an once’ doesn’t work grammatically.

    That said, the personal emotions that inspired this come through clearly, also loved the chalk line around the fallen body.

  6. The lead in 4 are really strong, grabbed from the onset, the torture that comes through, that begging need expressed so well. Really lovely write ~ Rose

  7. From the image, to the writing, every thing here has been masterfully presented. There is a depth to the writing that allows my imagination run away with it, which means I’ll be pondering this one long after the commenting! Awesome write!

    • wow thank you so much. That is a great thing to read about a piece. @ everyone thanks for all the great comments and thanks for reading. There is so much more to come.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s