She danced in the rain
The drops were
Mixed with shards of glass
As she fell a charm bracelet
Escaped her grasp
Laying on the street
Beside her but inches from her hand
A stream of water
With tints of red
That shows a slight shimmer
Against the colorless snapshot
Empty eyes open
But cannot see
As her right shoe sits
As if dangling
With only the top of her foot
Still inside
As the air of life
And death collide
Barely noticed by
The passers by
How can this be
A life not mourned
Or even just treated respectfully
Once just a glimmer
In an eye
Now a soon to be memory
Over which pain will be felt
Causing many a mourner to cry
Or at least one can hope
One can hope
I feel weird saying I like a poem that evokes such sad emotion, but there- I said it.
it’s ok it is not real π just a poem and thank you so much
I like the imagery in this one. “As the air of life And death collide” – great line.
thanks Unga that is my favorite line.
How sad π¦ “As the air of life and death collide” —> this is my favorite line, too. Nicely done π
Thanks Katherine and thanks for stopping in π
hmmm to live and not be mourned? I think we ask that question often. We live, dance, does anyone see? π¦
Hope you like my offeringa as I enjoyed yours: http://lynnaima.wordpress.com/2011/09/02/tis-i-know/
exactly…Thank you
lovely emotional piece!
Thanks Hope
well conveyed emotions.
have fun!
thank you
This poem is so sad and especially how you collide the air of life and death
http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/09/04/haggle-baggily/
Excellent! You paint this scene so vividly it shocks the reader to realize a body lays before them. Very nice writing.
My entry: http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2011/09/04/blood-on-the-moon-2/
Thank you so much that is a big compliment
I love the noir mood that moves in wisps around the words, tremendous write
Thank you Anthony I am glad you enjoyed it. I was not sure I should post this because of the subject matter. I am glad people are looking at it from the writing aspect.
Beautiful imagery.
William Leed
Thanks William
Love this poem, the darkness with the questions and the hope really touched me. Nicely written.
Thank you Shanyn I am glad it did.
the struggles or darkness of life are laid out beautifully.
powerful entry.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and the compliment
Captured a very specific emotional chord. I was feeling similar themes this week, rain and broken glass. Thank you for this expression.
thank you Derek
This is so moving. Wow.
thanks Classic
Oh what a struggle for life and so wonderfully said thank you for sharing
http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/09/08/the-crimson-witch/
thanks for reading Sara
This is hauntingly beautiful. As usually you have perfectly and visually captured one moment in time. Just lovely.
thank you so much
Hi there. Shoe dangling from the top of her feet? Nice observation! Sometimes its quite fun to do so, but yeah, sad poem. People have already said enough so anything that I’d say would be a repetition.
Cheers to good poetry!
Thank you Mihir cheers
I am a Poets Rally newbie, but this poem really touched me. Feel free to visit my contribution at http://lolarati.blogspot.com/2011/09/haiku-challenge-magic.html.
Thank you and I am glad you liked it. I have not been in this group in a while. I am glad to be back.
awfully sad, but awfully good
thank you marit
Sad but I love the way you have written this poem…
thank you Rashmi
The end repetition and the story is haunting. Your word choice creates vivid imagery. ~MsQ
Too busy in death to be noticed in life? My interpretation. A good work to ponder upon. Thank you for sharing.
My entry: http://wp.me/s1LMFk-668
Street life 101…a good evocative piece!
A striking well-crafted piece.. // Peter.
Both beautiful and tragic with vivid imagery.
Beth
So much intense feeling … great poem.
Isadora
Thank you Isadora Thanks for dropping in.